If You Got Your Ass Kicked By Berkeley And You Know It, Clap Your Hands

You’ve all heard that slogan- “Berkeley:  Where your Best Just isn’t Good Enough”.  Being a teaching assistant and all now at this fine establishment, I’d like to be able to say that its just not true.  That those silly undergrads are just exaggerating.

Unfortunately, it’s the fucking mantra of this institution.

But I was just thinking back to undergrad.  In an alternate reality, what if I got all A’s.  In addition to having a higher water content (due to tear conservation), I would have probably thought I was the shit.  I would have thought that there was nothing I couldn’t do and god damn I was amazing.

Hold up Anu.  Don’t you think that right now?

Well, yes.  Sort of.  But here’s the thing.  The alternate reality me would be egotistical and narcissistic.  (And this is different from the actual you…how??)  Hopefully, my current self is just….confident. Because unlike the alternate reality Anu, real Anu knows what it’s like to be unsuccessful, to try really hard and still not get what she wants, and to straight up get rejected.  Alternate reality Anu thinks she’s awesome because she always succeeds.  The real Anu realizes that “success” isn’t predicated on always getting what she wants – that sometimes a “success” is actually NOT getting what you want, but learning how to bounce back from that and make it work.  Real Anu realizes that you don’t have to be the “best” at something (especially school)  to “succeed” in life.  Therefore, she feels like she knows a hell of a lot of awesome people.

So yeah, in both realities, we end up with similar outcomes (very fine line between egotistical and confident).  But since Cal kicked my ass, I feel like life will have a harder time shattering this confidence.  Because I’ve come full circle- I’ve seen the lows and I’ve seen the highs and I know what it takes to keep on moving on.  I realize that “best” and “success” are fluid terms, so I tune out when people are talking about shit like that.  And honestly, I’ve realized that the only thing you REALLY need to “succeed” is to believe that you deserve all those awesome points which you already have.

So I guess I’d just like to say…Thanks Cal.  For kicking my ass.

(And if you ever want the favor returned, let me know).